Better Than This

David Warren may be retired, but his voice is more relevant than ever. In a heartfelt conversation on the Publish You podcast, David shares the journey behind his powerful debut book Better Than This, which explores the painful realities of spiritual abuse and the urgent need for healthier church cultures.

Despite his humble demeanor and claims of a quiet retirement filled with bowls, grandparenting, and “churchy stuff,” David’s story is anything but quiet. Having served as a pastor for four decades, he’s now turned his attention to an issue that he believes has been swept under the rug for far too long: the misuse of power in spiritual settings.

A Lifelong Writer With a New Mission

David’s dream of writing a book began when he was just ten years old. "Every week at school we had a free writing session, and I would just go into my little football world and write endless books of nonsense," he laughs. But the dream lay dormant until recently, when a perfect storm of reflection, reading, and real-life events sparked the idea that would become Better Than This.

He describes stumbling into the topic of spiritual abuse almost accidentally—reading about psychological safety and suddenly seeing clear parallels in his own life and ministry. The book became both memoir and manifesto: a collection of stories and insights urging churches to do better.

The Painful Reality of Spiritual Abuse

In Better Than This, David shines a light on an issue many would prefer to ignore. Spiritual abuse—particularly when cloaked in religious authority—can cause deep, long-lasting wounds. "In churches, the abuse often runs deeper because people are so passionate and committed," David explains. “There’s an extra lever of manipulation when people say, ‘God told me,’ and back it up with a vague Bible verse.”

He recounts heartbreaking stories, including those of church interns pushed to the brink of breakdowns, only to be blamed for their own struggles. “Their mental health was treated as weakness,” he says. “They were told to battle through, pray harder. That’s incredibly damaging.”

What makes these stories even more tragic is how often others around them were aware of the issues but felt powerless to speak out. “So many people knew what was going on, but didn’t or couldn’t say anything until it all went bang. And by then, the damage was done.”

A Better Way Forward

Despite the difficult subject matter, David’s message is ultimately one of hope. The title Better Than This reflects not only a critique but a call to action.

He outlines three key principles for healthier organizations—faith-based or otherwise:

1. Wise Theology: “Not just being right, but being wise,” David explains. “We need a theology that considers people, not just doctrine.”
2. Psychological Safety: This involves creating environments where people feel safe to speak up, ask questions, and make mistakes without fear.
3. Courageous Followership: “We need people brave enough to speak truth to power,” he says. “So often, silence protects the system and perpetuates harm.”

These principles are relevant not just to churches but to any community—businesses, charities, even families—where power dynamics exist.

The Challenge of Telling the Truth

Writing the book wasn’t easy. David admits that his biggest fear was wondering, “Who am I to write this?” As a retired pastor without a big platform or social media following, he questioned whether anyone would take notice.

But encouragement from friends, family, and people who had shared their stories gave him the resolve he needed. “They said, ‘Please, will you do this?’ And that was powerful.”

Joining the Writing My Book course helped him stay on track. “It gave me structure, focus, and accountability,” he says. “It made me feel like I had to do it—not just for me, but for the people cheering me on.”

A Message That Matters

Now that the book is published and available worldwide, David feels a mix of pride and nerves. “I’ve achieved something I’ve always wanted to do,” he says. “But I have no idea how people will respond.”

Still, his hopes are grounded and sincere: “If even one church or organization reads this book and decides to do things better, then it’s worth it.”

Better Than This is more than a memoir. It’s a wake-up call—and a guide—for anyone who believes we can build communities rooted in compassion, integrity, and safety.